23.5.08

I have come by here all to frequently only to stare at this blank canvas. Recently inspired to share the randomness of my thoughts from a friends blog;

It continues to amaze me that the more we learn the less we know. Just when you think; "Okay, I've got a handle on this... I get it." Bang - something surely crosses your path and you're left with the realization again of how ignorant you are. Days are passing a little too slowly lately as I walk out this realization and again hunger for more education. Recent days have left me assaulted not only physically but mentally. Raped of all sense of assurance and almost all confidence.

I blame this present season on the arrival of summer. Spring sparks life within... a hunger for more... a stirring to seek out adventure... a sense of urgency to do before the fall quickly returns and I slip into hibernation for winter days.

I scan my 'bucket' list... (things I want to do before I kick the bucket) and grow overwhelmed with where to start. My to do list grows longer every waking moment... my frustration in time restraints continues and I attempt to rebel by hiding my watch in the back of my closet. Yet, within I grow deeply anxious... the desire to live grows stronger with each sunrise. The desire to experience more deepens with each sunset. The moon finds me contemplating the majesty around and pondering where I will find myself next.

I sit here tonight attempting to still myself and seek a deeper awareness of His leading and teaching. Floods of thoughts surrounding my occupation fill my mind recently as I walk out this journey of inner struggle. Struggling between the feelings of superior inadequacy and the notion of how to walk between grace and justice. Where does my role lie between the two... For most of my life I have always had this insane emotion and sensation to fight injustice... yet, how do you fight injustice and exemplify grace and forgiveness simutaneously?

...random bits for today...

5 comments:

JodyJ said...

Hey Girl,
I am passing by, you haven't written in a while... what gives??

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
JodyJ said...

WRITE something NEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WAUGDAI said...

I dunno what to write about these days...

JodyJ said...

You mentioned something life changing.... that might be a place to start.