Write. Write more. Blog more. I miss your writings. hmmm.... oddly the words of other's echo in me as I stare blankly at this white little box. My rebuttal - What about? I feel like I have nothing to say. Does anyone even read this anyways? To whom do I post the randomness of my mind too and with/for what purpose shall I continue?

Yet, here I am posting more ramblings of my meager little brain...

"What is the world's greatest lie?" -the boy asked. "It's this; that at a certain point in our lives we lose control of what's happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate. That's the world's greatest lie." -Paulo Coelho

K, so that wasn't from my brain... but has been on my brain the past few days. A quote I read in a book that I'm currently reading. To believe that is the world's greatest lie... would that cause you to say then that you are in control of your life? Would that cause you to admit you do not believe then in fate? If you then do not believe in fate - what do you confess to? Being in control of one's own life?

The Christian's first reaction would be of course; "No, God is in control." Then how is it that you feel you are losing control of what's happening to you? Ahh.. because at one point you did actually feel in control of your own life. Right? Or pehaps even you still do. And if you admit it, as a Christian, isn't relinquishing that control to Him one of the hardest things to do?

So we continue to try to control our own lives... yet does it really seem to work? Does it get you anywhere? Yet, relinquishing that control over to Him... does that really seem to work? Has it gotten you anywhere either?

For a God who is supposed to be in control, why does it feel like the world is always spinning out of control? Murders. Chronic Illness's. Loss. Accidents. Heart breaks. Shattered Dreams. Dissappointments. The list could go on. For a God who is seemingly a God of love - why do we feel so unloved, worthless, lonely even. For a God who is seemingly good - why do bad things happen? hmmm...

"Perhaps the perception of who He is as God, is different from the perception of our expectations of who He should be?" "Is it one's desire for God, or one's desire to use God." .... ? .... Tough thought for the sincerely seeking Christian to search one's own heart for that answer.