In Moments Like These

It's official... I've gone and done a Greg Moore... and to any of you who do know him, he will attest to the almost danger in seeking God for humbleness. Just when I think I'm maybe starting to pick my head up high... I'm quickly brought back to my knees. I'm not sure it's entirely a bad place to be in, just really difficult. And in case I still didn't get that I needed to stop and slow down... I went and nearly knocked myself out. I hit my head so hard, that I've been puking for two days now...haha. Yep, it's true folks I wear a name tag that says 'idiot'.

It's hard to explain, this place, this season, this emotion and feeling within. Every pressupposition I've had - is being challenged. Every single paradigm I've carried is changing. I question everything - not to be difficult, but to really take for myself and live for myself this real walk of life I confess to have. For some reason if I haven't gotten there to question it, God is bringing it to the forefront so I face it.

I'm continually brought to my face, seeking His mercy unending, day after day. It as though I walk around on my knees weeping. Not in a 'poor me' state, but in a grandeur of awe at His working and speaking in my life. In a place I find so hard to 'enter in' or 'press in' as the cliche christian quotes would propose... I'm overwhelmed at the clarity of His voice. I'm so overwhelmed that it literally feels like I can barely walk.

One step at a time is almost all that this soul can handle. I'm sooo challenged to know God, not what the church says, not what my peers show, or my friends dictate as true. I'm soooo challenged to spiritually engage at all times with Him that it's as familiar as inhaling and exhaling to me.

I'm totally unsettled with the status quo. I'm angry at meandering around and living a mind numbing life.

It has been said "The more you know, the less you actually know." The more I seek His face, the more I get to know Him, the less I really do know... as He challenges every area of thought and action, every pressupposition and paradigm, every single thing I've thought to have had 'got it'.

hmmm....