My latest trip home was overwhelming to my heart. My first night in, my 'crew' of closeknit friends gathered for a girls night in with appetizers and food. The evening passed with deep thoughts, childish giggles, tons of laughter and a fullness that is just felt when you're home. Through the years, I've watched our circle of friends as we've just lived life together. It wasn't until I was home this time, that it dawned on me...these are real friends. We know each other's philosophy on life! We share both our wins and even our losses. We celebrate life together and mourn death beside one another. Some days we argue, most days we laugh. Some seasons we lean on another, other's we're the leaning post. When we are together, it always feels like family.

Recently, my ears welcomed a new friend's heart, as she spoke of community and doing life together with friends in covenant relationship. It challenged my own heart deeply, as that is something I long for here in Calgary so strong...but never had the 'language' (as she would say) to express it. Having and even making that type of commitment to people isn't something one can do easily or just with anyone. The friends whom I've come to love and connect with like kindred spirits, those whom I could make the commitment too seem so distant in miles.

I've come to question my moving to Calgary. Not that I have walked away from any friendship, they're still very strong/growing, but I did move away. Daily, I'm growing a deeper sense of what I feel like tomorrow will bring. It's funny because it's very similar to the things my new friend shared from her heart about missions.

I want to live downtown in the hood...and not just because downtown is young, vibrant and busy. It's because of the culture. The homeless, the addicts, the prostitutes, the pushers...those are the people I long to connect with. Those who are down and out, those of brokenness, those with hopelessness. I long to bring a sense of hope perhaps even assist in a lifestyle change. Ya know? I long to work with youth, perhaps youth of that culture, maybe another - one that shares a heart for them... I dunno exactly, but I do know that daily my heart is being softened for an area of Calgary... and it's longing to plant roots deep with deep friends around me. I wonder what that will look like...and whom that will be with.